The Biggest Fan
by Full-Paragon
Summary: Hi, I'm Conrad Verner! I've been sucked into the Mass Effect universe! I'm already Shepard's biggest fan, maybe I'll even get to meet him! SQUEE!
1. Chapter 1

**Blog Entry: #1shepfan007**

Hi, my name is Conrad Verner! I am the biggest fan of Mass Effect EVER. I have EVERY collector's edition and I stalked half a dozen Bioware employees to get them to sign my copies. I even have the same name as one of the characters in Mass Effect, but I'm not a total loser like that guy. We do look the same though, but if I were in the ME universe I wouldn't be such a jerk to Commander Shepard. My shrine is much better anyway. It's where I keep all my Mass Effect models!

I totally ship Shepard/Liara because she is SO HOT and I think that the best is fem shep because she can also be totally hot. I started dating my wife Lisa because she looks just like fem shep 6 from the Bioware contest. I think she married me because I'm an engineer with a doctorate in Biochemistry and I make lots of money, but you can see from the pictures I have all over my blog that she's totally hot.

Tune in next week when I explain why the indoctrination theory is totally wrong and Bioware's endings are the BEST EVER.

**The Real World**

Conrad put the finishing touches on his blog and stretched, pausing to lovingly caress his full size femship statue he had commissioned. It was pretty sweet, in the same pose she had on the cover and everything. It had cost him almost as much as his car, but it had been totally worth it.

"Conrad, are you coming to bed? I like, totally have to work in the morning." Lisa, Conrad's wife, called.

Poking her head into the den, Lisa rolled her eyes. "You know, the only good thing about this pit is that statue of me. Though I don't know why I couldn't be wearing something pretty at least."

The nagging guilt over the lie Conrad had told Lisa about the statue was so quiet by now that Conrad quashed it with little effort. "Aw but Lisa, I've got all my models and everything here. Even Wrex!"

Lisa was possibly Conrad's most expensive hobby, but she really did look exactly like femShep #6, and besides, it didn't cost the hundreds of thousands of dollars Conrad made every year to buy all the Mass Effect models. Both of them were happy with the relationship for the most part. Conrad made all the money that paid for Lisa's expensive clothes and tastes, and Lisa consented to occasionally play dress up for him, go to cons with him, and consummate their marriage during the rare times Conrad wasn't obsessing over something.

"After a bit Lisa, I have to finish myself insert fic where I save the citadel by stopping Cerberus and kill Udina!" Conrad replied.

The fanfic comment just prompted another eye roll. "Well you're not getting any tonight if you don't come to bed. I'm tired after all that shopping we did today."

Choosing between sex and Mass Effect was hard, but Conrad knew what choice he had to make. "How about in the morning? You don't have to go in till 9 right?"

"Whatever." Lisa declared, and sulked out. She was wearing the N7 briefs Conrad had got her and nothing else, and he almost changed his mind. But he was a dedicated man.

That night Conrad was especially dedicated, working till he fell asleep on his keyboard typing of his adventures with Shepard on the citadel.

**The Mass Effect Universe**

Conrad awoke in a familiar position, his face on the keyboard with a little drool hanging from his lips. What was unfamiliar was the fact that the keyboard was a glowing orange hologram, and that seemingly overnight his Shepard shrine had turned into an entirely male ensemble.

"Whu? Where's my femSheps?" Conrad murmured. He grabbed a model to examine it more closely. It showed a far younger Shepard, and instead of plastic it was a strange substance Conrad had never felt before. On the base it said "The Hero of The Blitz! Sergeant Eric J. Shepard!"

"Eric? But I always named my male Sheps Conrad and played them as Earthborn/Colonist." Conrad muttered. He pawed through the rest.

All the Shepard's were younger than the ones in the games, and none of them mentioned anything about Shepard being a specter or even the hero of the citadel. And none of them showed Shepard during ME 2 or 3, or femShep. There were no Garrus's, no Liara's, no Wrex's. It was a sad collection now, even Conrad's custom version of the SR1 Normandy was missing.

"What's going on!" Conrad wailed.

His panic was interupted by a the sound of a door bell. Conrad hurried to the door, still to distressed to notice his house had changed to an apartment over night.

He threw open the door to see a bored looking salarian waiting for him.

"Ah, human, good to see you yes. Your latest package is here. Thumb print please." The salarian droned.

"But you're a salarian!" Conrad gasped, "A real Salarian!"

"Yes, human," The salarian sighed, "I am indeed a real salarian." He checked the package. "You are Dr. Conrad Verner yes?"

"Yeah, I am." Conrad managed, putting his thumb on the proffered scanner.

"Have a pleasant day human." The salarian stated, then turned and walked away.

Conrad took a moment to look around. He appeared to be in a well it apartment block with sleek, futuristic looking buildings. Various aliens, quite a few of which Conrad didn't even recognize, wandered about.

Slightly dazed, Conrad stepped inside and tore open his package.

"Limited Collector's Edition: NEW! FIRST HUMAN SPECTER COMMANDER SHEPARD!" Conrad read.

He blinked several times, then screamed "OH MY GOD I AM IN THE MASS EFFECT UNIVERSE!"

Running back to his shrine room, Conrad logged into the extra net and did some research on himself. He was Conrad Verner, Doctor of Xenobiology. He read up on his notes, and before long his Shepard doll was forgotten. A few of the formula's and equations he looked up were confusing at first, but once he found a text book (Written by him) it seemed like memories floated to the surface and he found himself nodding more and more. Of course, this all made sense! He was a bio-engineer in the boring universe, but here he was a xenosciences doctor. He apparently worked as an independent contractor, and when Conrad checked his bank account (the password and user name was stored in the same place he had kept it back home: behind his large framed picture of Shepard) he saw that he had several millions of credits saved up. He gasped in shock, he never had that much money back home!

"Lisa, Lisa you will never believe this! We're in the Mass Effect universe!" Conrad shrieked, and ran into his bedroom.

It was deserted, and only his own clothing was in the closet, his own toothbrush in the bathroom. This was a disappointment to Conrad, he had no one to brag to now, but compared to being in the Mass Effect Universe it wasn't worth crying about.

Conrad hurriedly got dressed and headed out to explore his new home. He had an omni-tool that after a few minutes of fiddling he managed to access. He was on the Citadel, in one of the wards. For hours Conrad wandered, awestruck by the various alien figures he was seeing. The asari were more alien then in the games, their eyes slightly off, their build slightly wrong for a human. They did extrude sexy though, and Conrad was certain that this Shepard would hook up with Liara. Or maybe Miranda. Conrad was always fond of those ships for a male Shepard.

The salarians were more frantic then a game could ever capture, always in motion, eyes always flitting, mouths seemingly always moving. They also seemed to twitch constantly, as if responding to stimuli that human senses just couldn't see. Conrad hoped he got to see Mordin, or maybe even hear him sing. Mordin was AWESOME.

More than a few turians passed Conrad in the ward's halls, their stern faces ignoring the look of childlike glee on Conrad's own. Their eyes were bright and alive though, and their head quills twitched along with their mandibles as they talked to companions or into communicators.

Other races, volus, elcor, hannar, and more than a few strange beings in twos or threes Conrad hadn't even seen in concept art, were present as well, but the big three and the humans Conrad ignored, were the most populous.

Conrad finally stopped at a cafe and ordered some asari cuisine, which he sat down and devoured with gusto.

"Did you hear?" A turian voice behind Conrad spoke, "The human's finally did it. Got a candidate into the specters."

"I did," Another turian replied, "And I for one have to say it's about time. My father fought in the Relay 314 Incident, and from what he told me he's never seen a more capable race of fighters. They fought smart and dirty, perfect tactics for specters."

"If you say so." The first voice replied, "Personally I don't know about that, but it's about time they started doing something for the galaxy instead of just taking away."

"True enough. The Council is more then happy to have them as a bulwark against the Batarians at least."

"No kidding. The Hierarchy has its hands full keeping the peace in Citadel space, a full scale war is the last thing we need."

The rest of the conversation didn't interest Conrad, so he stuffed the rest of the food in his mouth, left a generous tip on the table, and hurried out the door. So Shepard was just starting his career as a Specter! Conrad knew one place he could find Shepard for sure, the ward markets. Conrad just knew he had to join Shepard's crew. He knew everything about Mass Effect, and had a dozen ways for Shepard to beat Saren and save the Citadel, AND beat the Reapers. He might need to explain why he was here though, and Conrad had to think furiously to come up with an explanation.

His omni-tool showed that it would be hours and hours of walking the kilometers to the ward markets, so Conrad hired a taxi to take him there. It was driven by a human, a middle aged woman of Indian descent who was happy enough to chat with a member of her species.

"So do you know of Commander Shepard is here on the citadel?" Conrad asked.

"Hmm, I think so." She replied, "He's back from a mission off somewhere to check in with the Council I think. "

Conrad's heart sped up in excitement. "Oh boy, I hope I get to see him! I'm the commander's biggest fan!"

The driver chuckled. "You and my daughter. She thinks' he's terribly handsome, spends quite a bit of time on the extra net looking up pictures of him. She wrote her last report in school on him, got an +A too."

"Fem shep is better, it's too bad it's male shep." Conrad mused aloud.

"What are you babbling about? Fem Shep? I thought his name was Eric James Shepard."

"Wow, isn't it cool to know his name? They never say it in the games."

This confused the driver further. "Games? What games? Why wouldn't they say the commander's name?"

"Oh, never mind." Conrad waved his hand, dismissing the idea. "I'll just have to convince him to let me join his crew since this is a self insert."

Now the driver was beginning to suspect she had a mad man on board. "Can you pay for this trip? You're not drunk are you? I just had these seats cleaned."

"Oh yeah, let me swipe my chit." Conrad assured her.

That contented the driver. People were entitled to be insane, as long as they paid in full. And tipped as well as this guy did.

She let Conrad off with a wave, calling, "Good luck joining the Commander's crew!"

"Thanks!" Conrad called, which prompted a chuckle from the driver as she pulled away.

Conrad hurried over to market stairs. He knew he could recognize Shepard, it was the default male face, so it wouldn't be hard. Was he a Renegade or a Paragon? Soldier, Vanguard, Engineer? So many possibilities!

"I'm telling you Shepard, Morlan's slime but he's got good deals. I've dealt with him before." A deep krogan voice rumbled.

"Morlan's scum, I busted him half a dozen times for illegal mods." A turian shot back.

"Why do you think I bought from him? Legal stuffs just crap."

Conrad turned and nearly wet himself in excitement. Approaching him was Garrus Vakarian and Urdnot Wrex, the real deals! And with them, Shepard!

"Is that really, oh wow it's you!" Conrad gasped.

"Hello, do I know you?" Shepard asked politely, pausing for a moment.

"You're Commander Shepard, the hero of Eden Prime!" Conrad babbled, "I am so honored to meet you!"

Shepard stuck out his hand and smiled. "Nice to meet you. And you are?"

"My name is Conrad Verner! They say you killed more than a hundred geth on Eden Prime!" Conrad bubbled.

"I spent most of the time trying to stay alive and help the colonists." Shepard replied modestly.

"Hey, I know you're busy saving the galaxy, but do you have time for a quick autograph?" Conrad pleaded, holding out his omni-tool.

Shepard gave him a winning smile. "Anything for a fan." The commander reached over and quickly signed the digital pad. "Here you go."

"Thanks, I really appreciate it, my wife is going to be so impressed!" Conrad cheered, "I've got to go show her, thanks again! Next time you're on the citadel I'll have to buy you a drink!"

"I might have to take you up on that. Take care." Shepard answered.

Conrad hurried off, and it was several minutes before he realized that Lisa was now a universe away and unable to see his trophy. Conrad smacked himself on the forehead. "I forgot to tell the Commander about the Reapers and everything else! I didn't even ask him to let me join his crew!"

Conrad hurried back, but Shepard was gone. He asked Morlan if he had seen where Shepard had gone, but when he searched in the direction Morlan indicated, Shepard was nowhere to be found.

"Oh well, I know he'll be back." Conrad sighed. He was never going to wash his hand though, Shepard had actually touched him!

Conrad hurried home and posted on the extranet about his encounter. There were plenty of fans who followed his blog here too, and before long Conrad got lost in writing his own fanfiction where he and Shepard fought off the batarians in the Skyllian Blitz together. What a day!

_Author's Note:_

_Ok, so this is obviously a bit of a parody of self insert fics. It's also in response to LyingOwl-Aria's challenge in the Aria's Afterlife forum, which you should visit since it's awesome. This fic will be 20 chapters long and 80k-100k words as per the instructions. And no, it won't be serious. _


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**The Real World**

When Conrad didn't come to bed that night, Lisa wasn't worried. Her husband was a goof-ball after all, and while she occasionally felt a bit insulted he would rather write about some stupid game then be with her she was willing to let it go. Her husband was smart, funny, and rather tender and loving when he wanted to be. She liked how it felt when he was with her. Like everything else he did, he was obsessive. Sometimes when they were together, it was like he forgot everyone else in the universe existed and just focused on her. If sometimes he also focused on other things with the same intensity, that was the price she had to pay.

When Conrad also wasn't there in the morning without even a note, Lisa also didn't worry. He was an independent contractor, and as such various corporations would call him in to do some work frequently. He could also take off if a collectable he wanted was to be had, and Lisa was used to these disappearances.

She even didn't worry when she didn't hear from him all day. Every once in a while, that happened. She just filed the reports and smiled prettily at the clients at Massive Tech. That was her job after all. Be pretty and organized, and she was good at it. She knew she wasn't as smart as the people who worked there or as smart as her husband, but she didn't let it bother her. She was pretty, had a nice house, a pleasant if sometimes frustrating husband, and a shopping budget that would make the Kardashian girls jealous. You didn't need to be smart to enjoy those sort of things, and if she was smart, she wouldn't find dressing up for Conrad nearly as much fun as she did.

When Conrad didn't contact her that night, Lisa was worried. She stayed up, called his phone (which she found ringing in his "pit") and all his friends. Nothing came up. Next she called the police department to file a missing persons report. An officer came over, took her info, the fact that his phone not with him (Something that never happened), his car still parked in the garage (Lisa parked outside and hadn't noticed until she checked after finding his phone) and his keys still in the cubby where he kept them. He was very polite, and promised they would put out a bulletin for her husband.

After that, Lisa called her mother. Her mother was supportive, but Lisa got the impression that she wasn't terribly surprised Conrad was missing. Her mother had always said the smartest thing Lisa had ever done was marrying a smart, rich, white, and most importantly, polite to his mother-in-law, man like Conrad. She did not however, think all that highly of the obsessive mans wisdom.

"For all his smarts, he's pretty dumb." She had commented one time.

Lisa had to agree, though she had felt the urge to defend Conrad. Dumb and obsessive he might be, but he always treated her well (When he acknowledged she existed) and she did care about him. If she occasionally had to go on a shopping spree to make up for the lack of attention, well, they were pretty good shopping sprees.

For all her waiting though, Conrad didn't show up. That was when Lisa realized something. She didn't just are about her husband, she really did love him. She dressed up in N7 outfit he had got her and looked in the mirror while she cried. Conrad was gone, and she had no idea where he was.

**The Mass Effect Universe**

As amazing as it was to be in the Mass Effect universe, after a few days, Conrad realized something vital was missing. At first, he had been too busy assembling a custom model of the Normandy, writing papers on dark energy, xenoscience, the ramifications of a technological marvel like the "geth" dreadnaught observed on Eden prime (Conrad proposed naming it a "Reaper Class" ship, a joke he thought was pretty funny) and obsessing over actually meeting Commander Shepard.

But all that started to ring hollow after a few nights of going to be alone. For a man, Conrad actually had a fairly low sex drive, but he did have one. When he got the urge, he went to his wife. It wasn't even about the kinky dress up, or the fact that she looked sexy in the cosplay outfits she had. It was laying there with her, holding her close, being a part of her. It met quite a few of Conrad's needs on more levels then he was cognizant of, and after the third night of going to bed alone, Conrad just couldn't sleep. He missed Lisa.

For a week after that, he missed Lisa's presence just for the sake of having a real person there to talk to. Meeting Commander Shepard was surprisingly hallow without his wife to talk to about it. His amazing discoveries about mass effect fields, dark energy and other alien science were still cool, but without Lisa there, they lacked a deeper meaning.

After two weeks, Conrad started missing Lisa as his wife. He hadn't been a virgin when they were married, but he had been faithful to her. He wasn't sure if she was (and had spent more than a few hours fantasizing that she wasn't- with femShep) but didn't dwell on it or let it bother him.

He started spending long nights writing in frustration. About Shepard (which several fan sites accepted with glee), about various scientific topics (which the scientific community hailed as revolutionary) and, to Conrad's surprise, about his wife. He started writing about things they had done together, cons they had been to, places they had gone, Mass Effect scenes they had acted out together. Some of it was kinky, some of it was funny, but all of it was warm and loving. This he kept to himself though. He didn't want his peers or his fans finding out he was a loony.

In addition to his writing, Conrad started taking long, rambling walks. He want to all the places in the Mass Effect games and then some. He went to Chora's Den first, but the loud music, smelly patrons and gyrating alien asari got to Conrad in his sleep deprived state, and he went elsewhere. Next, he tried Flux. It wasn't a bad place, and while it still had the loud music, it was more to Conrad's tastes and it didn't smell nearly as bad.

"Hi, welcome to Flux!" A smiling human waitress greeted Conrad as he sat down at a table after an hour of dancing, "I havn't seen you here before! My name's Jenny, can I get anything for you?"

The name Jenny tugged at Conrad for some reason, though he couldn't quite remember why. He wracked his brains for the connection to the ME games but came up dry. To his surprise, his memory of the games was fading rapidly, along with quite a few details from his life. The one thing he remembered was Lisa, and how much he missed her.

"Hey Jenny, got anything to help a man forget his troubles?" Conrad asked, smiling a bit mournfully.

"Oh I'm sorry to hear about that! Let me bring you a rum and coke, a little Captain Morgan always helps me forget my problems!" Jenny hurried off, and Conrad was left alone with his thoughts.

In a few minutes, Jenny returned with a tray and a glass. "Here you go sir! By the way, I didn't catch your name, Mr...?"

"Verner. Conrad Verner." Conrad said, smiling and offering a hand to Jenny.

She took it and shook it warmly. "Nice to meet you Conrad! You seem like a pretty hansom guy, are you single?"

"Oh, I'm-" Conrad began, holding out his ring finger to show the wedding band. "-Uh, married." He finished. The finger was sadly bare. No Lisa, no ring. "But I'm getting my ring fitted, ha-ha."

"Oh I bet your wife knows shes a lucky girl! Well, I've got to take care of the other customers, but if you need anything just holler 'Jen' and I'll be right over!" The waitress disappeared into the crowd, and Conrad was left to nurse his drink.

He felt horribly depressed. He had often dreamed of coming to the Mass Effect universe and of the adventure he would have, but reality was nothing like that. His life was much the same, his job fairly similar, his hobbies exactly alike. The only real difference was a lack of Lisa. And that hurt.

"Hey, you alone hansom?" An asari voice purred as a sleek blue form eased itself into a chair by Conrad.

"Um, no, I'm waiting for my wife. She's late." Conrad stammered.

The asari looked disappointed, then grinned coyly. "Well, I like all kinds. She a flexible kind of girl?"

"Um, no sorry. Oh, that's her there, gotta go." Conrad said, standing and walking away into the crowd. For a moment, he almost believed he really would find Lisa there, but there was no one, and he walked out of Flux back to the apartment, alone.

"Conrad what did you do! You just turned down sex with an asari!" He berated himself as he walked to the taxi hub.

_I miss my wife, that's what I'm doing. _Conrad's thought's echoed.

_All the more reason to have sex with an asari!_ His sex drive screamed.

_But Lisa!_

_Asari!_

_Lisa!_

This time, tiredness, longing, and loyalty one out. Conrad went home.

As the days passed, Conrad continued to miss Lisa and gain a growing case of blue balls. He became obsessive with his hobby and science. He built a working replica of the _Normany_ that could fly around his room with mini-mass effect fields. He even included a stealth system. He showed the schematics for it to an Alliance recruiter, and was immediately ushered into a meeting with Captain David Anderson and Admiral Hackett.

"Son, do you have any idea what you've done?" Hackett asked as Conrad showed off how the mini-Normandy was completely invisible to long range scanners.

"Well yeah, I used the Yri-Olug theorem combined with a Halden-Geller dark energy field which I powered by-" Conrad started, but Anderson interrupted.

"I don't think the Admiral meant exactly what you did Mr. Verner. He mean's how in the hell did you replicate the work of a dozen human and turian teams with the best minds in the galaxy over a weekend in your basement."

"I don't have a basement, it's actually a guest bedroom." Verner interjected.

"Irrelevant." Hackett rumbled. "Not only did you replicate it, you did it in miniature!"

"We're giving you your own lab and a budget that would make Rear Admiral Mikhailovich's eyes bug out of his head." Anderson stated. "Replicate this for our people. Show us how you did it. This could revolutionize our drones, our body armor, so many things."

"Um, ok. Can I meet Commander Shepard?" Verner answered, "I have something important to tell him."

_While I can still remember what the Reapers are and why they are so important. _Conrad thought to himself.

"Son, if you can make another one of these, I'll sign the paperwork to transfer you to the _Normandy _myself." Hackett assured Verner.

This made Conrad so enthused he agreed immediately and forgot about Lisa for a while. In celebration, Conrad went for a walk to the wards to buy a few more parts with his now unlimited budget (Well, it was limited, but when your budget is 1.3 billion credits, it feels pretty unlimited).

While he was in the markets, Conrad saw a bald figure with a quarian and another man browsing the goods of Expat, the Volus merchant.

"Commander Shepard!" Conrad called excitedly, "It's me, Conrad Verner!"

Shepard frowned for a moment as Conrad hurried over, then suddenly broke into a smile. "Oh hey Conrad, you were the guy who asked for the autograph a few weeks back. How'd your wife like it?"

"Oh she loved!" Conrad gushed, "In fact she liked it so much I have to ask you for a picture!"

"A picture?" The quarian asked, "Isn't that a bit... Strange?"

"Well I just talked to Admiral Hackett and he said I might get to serve on the Normandy! I'd love a picture of the Commander to show my wife before I join the crew!" Verner babbled. A part of him warned that this was exactly what the irritating man in the games had done, but he was so lonely and desperate for attention he didn't care.

"You talked to Admiral Hackett." The man with Shepard commented, raising an eyebrow, "And your joining the crew? You off your meds?"

"Relax Kaiden." Shepard shushed, "What harm can a photo do?"

"Just stand like that, with your gun out. Perfect!" Verner squealed as he snapped the picture. "That's so much Commander! I've got to show my wife this!"

"Sure thing Conrad." Shepard said, "See you around."

Conrad hurried home, planning what he would say to Lisa all the way. When he got home, he burst open the door, babbling to Lisa about how cool Shepard was and how he wished she could meet him.

But when he got to the kitchen and saw the mess (Conrad usually did the dishes around the house, but in his current manic state, he had neglected it), saw the room Lisa had never seen, Conrad stopped. He sank to the floor and sobbed.

Who cared about Shepard when there was no Lisa?

The next day, an Alliance found a comatose Verner in a pool of urine and tears, still clutching the photo of Shepard. He was taken in for a psych eval and declared unfit for duty and unstable when he babbled on about a wife that didn't exist and displayed an completely unhealthy obsession with Shepard. Before they were even opened, Verner's labs were still shut down. The model Normandy was confiscated, and Verner was left alone in his apartment again, writing desperate fanfiction. Now Conrad wrote about a fem Shep named Lisa who was the most beautiful woman in the world. But every night, the image of her face faded, just a little.

_Authors Note:_

_Well that escalated quickly. Less sad, more funny next time, I promise. _


	3. Chapter 3

**The Real World**

Lisa stepped back from the street light and gazed at the poster she had just hung up.

HAVE YOU SEEN ME?

NAME: Conrad Verner

AGE: 37

SEX: Male

EYES: Grey

HAIR: Blonde

HEIGHT: 5'10"

RACE: Caucasian

INFO: I was last seen at 10:45 PM on June 6, 2012 at my home at 617 N Falcon Way, Toronto, Ontario. I was wearing a Mass Effect N7 hoodie and blue jeans. If you have seen me, please call at 647-555-0012

Lisa nodded and glanced down the street and the paper signs fluttering in the breeze. She had a wagon load, and was making her through the neighborhood. She glanced down at her own N7 hoodie, thinking of Conrad and wondering where he could be.

**The Mass Effect Galaxy**

Conrad was quite certain he was slowly losing his mind. He knew he was not originally from this dimension, universe, timeline, or whatever it was. The point was, he was from some when or where else. The problem that was arising was increasingly Conrad couldn't remember any details from that life. He vaguely remembered his wife still, but half those memories were Conrad talking about his wife since the change. There was something about Reapers; he needed to tell Shepard they were coming and then help to save the galaxy. Conrad was increasingly taking notes on those so he could remember. It was frightening, some mornings he would write something down, and by the evening his mind no longer recognized that it existed. His walls were becoming plastered with notes and print outs from media that Conrad remembered from his past life.

He had an article about Eden Prime that he had written "Beacon" and "Saren" on, but for the life of him Conrad could no longer remember what the beacon was or who Saren was, other then the rogue specter that had caused all the hubub a few weeks back. He did know it was vital he remember and that it was key to Shepard, but he didn't know why it was key, just that it was.

That was the other scary thing. Conrad hadn't BEEN in this universe when the hubub had happened. He had been home, with his wife. But he remembered watching the news broadcast where he was declared a traitor. He remembered talking about it online with people. But he had never done any of those things.

A duality was growing in Conrad's mind, where memories of growing up on Earth during the First Contact War and subsequent induction of humanity to the council were competing with memories of growing up in Toronto and having this entire world be nothing more then a game. But the memories of Conrad's new life were winning, and his memories of the time before faded as they were slowly replaced.

Conrad's rooms took on the look of a conspiracy theorist, plastered with news reports, journal entries and pictures of Shepard and the Normandy's crew. He posted on a variety of online forums, trying to convince people of the existance of the reapers, which were publicly known as a boogy man brought up during the Council's inquiry into Saren.

But, as one Turian poster named Exarchkun4 put it, "Reapers, those claims have been dismissed."

Few heeded Conrad's warnings, so he went to one person he did remember from his past life, a reporter named Emily Wong. Emily was famous for breaking a huge story about crime aboard the citadel when she released the files of one Chora Fist, a crime lord in the employ of Saren. She had followed up with an even more stunning expose on the horrid conditions of Citadel traffic controllers which had one her several accolades and established her as a serious investigative reporter who got results. If she was willing to pick up the Reaper story, Conrad knew people would listen.

"Hi, I'm here to see Emily Wong about Commander Shepard's package." Conrad told the salarian secretary, who showed him right in.

Emily stood and greeted Conrad as he came into her office, a large well appointed afair overlooking traffic on the Zakira ward. "Dr. Verner, I'm so glad you could come! The Commander has been of so much help in my investigations, I'm excited to see what he's sent me."

"No problem Ms. Wong!" Conrad assured her, "The Commander and I are close personal friends. Here, let me show you what he's sent to me."

Digging into his satchel, Conrad pulled out schematics he had drawn up for Sovereign, including his calculations on the required mass effect fields and theoretical dark energy manipulation for the recorded maneuvers on Eden Prime. He also pulled out several extra net articles relating to Matriarch Benezia with Conrad's theories on how Indoctrination could work (those had been written before Conrad had frankly quite forgotten what Indoctrination WAS). Among these he included a rare copy of Shepard's full report on Eden Prime to the council, including the vision from the beacon (gotten while Conrad still had top secret clearance for his mini stealth generator) and a recording of the damning evidence Udina had presented to the Council publicly.

Emily had a keen investigative mind, and as she pulled the various writings Conrad had together, a very clear picture began to form in her mind of what exactly the Reapers were. She wasn't familiar with the equations Conrad had used, but she did know enough to recognize that they were far beyond anything the Council races were capable of manufacturing.

"Dr. Verner, this is amazing!" Emily gasped as she paged through his summery of Indoctrination. "If this is all true..."

"It is!" He hurriedly assured her, "All of it. I got the raw data from Commander Shepard himself."

Emily nodded absently, she had recognized Shepard's writing style from the Eden Prime report and knew it didn't match the official version. Though it did answer quite a few questions she had had about just what had happened to the Beacon and why Saren wanted it.

"Dr. Verner, I can't than you enough. Please see my secretary about your cash reward, and I'll make sure you're in the byline."

"The only reward I need is knowing I helped Commander Shepard." Conrad declared, puffing out his chest, "Don't mention my name, I would prefer it if all the credit went to you and the Commander."

Emily smiled. That confirmed in her mind that this was all true. Loonies usually wanted some sort of personal recognition for their "discoveries" and scam artists were eager for the reward. That combined with the very brief research she had done on Dr. Verner (Who was widely recognized as an expert in the fields of dark energy and xenoscience by his peers) made her believe the veracity of the information she had just recieved.

"I'll get to work on this right away Dr. Verner. You have my thanks."

"Glad I could help Ms. Wong." Conrad said with a grin, shaking Emily's hand and leaving.

Emily sat down and got to work, but she had barely started before she was interrupted by her secretary. "Ms. Wong, there's a man from the Alliance to see you. Says his names Major Muhammad."

"Let him in Vik." Emily replied. When the major walked in, Emily began her prerehearsed tirade for when she finally broke into some really juicy government secrets.

"Now you listen here major, the people of the galaxy have a right to the truth, and no matter what the Alliance has to say, this will go to print and-"

"Ms. Wong, the Alliance has no problem with you publishing articles about 'indoctrination' or 'reapers' or whatever else Mr. Verner has told you about. I'm just here with a friendly warning." The Major interrupted.

That made Emily sit down. "What are you talking about? Does the Alliance already know about this? I thought you were ignoring Commander Shepard's reports."

The major coughed slightly. "Ma'am, Commander Shepard hasn't submitted ANY reports about indoctrination, and his brief mention of the Reapers's in a few scattered reports are nothing more then commentary on what the enemy claims is a race of machines that did to the protheans what the geth nearly did to the quarians."

"What are you talking about? Dr. Verner just showed me-" Emily began, but the look on the Major face made her stop. He looked embarrassed.

"I hate to say it, but you're not the first person Conrad Verner has hoodwinked. He's a brilliant man, don't get me wrong, but sometimes genius and madness are two sides of the same coin. Dr. Verner, to the best of our knowledge, has never been in contact with Commander Shepard or the SR-1 Normandy, aside from a brief meating where the Commander signed for an autograph and was photographed by Mr. Verner. They are not friends, brothers, lovers, or whatever else Conrad has told you today."

"What?" Emily asked in bemusement.

Muhammad activated his omni-tool and played an audio file. "-And then, since Shepard's a girl this time, I totally had her romance Garrus Vakarian because they were just made for each other! You know, he's got the reach and she's got the flexablity! It would be so hot if you could get Miranda to join in, but the game won't let you so-"

The major stopped the play back and blanched. "I am afraid that was a therapy session the good Doctor and I shared. He has a perverse fascination with the Commander, apparently imagining at times he is a she and that they are lovers, or that the Commander engages in completely illegal romances with people in his command, something I am glad to say he shows no sign of doing in real life."

The major tapped a few more buttons and sent a list of links to Emily's computer. "Here is a list of 'stories' Conrad has submitted to the site . Some of them are harmless fantasies about him joining the crew of the SR-1, others are perverse to the extreme. I recommend you do not read anything rated above a T on that site."

Emily quickly glanced at a list of stories, and they all made her stomach turn over. Several of them featured a gender swapped version of the commander named "Lisa" and the others were almost as distasteful.

"But it all looked so real..." She pondered, glancing back over at the documents Conrad had given her.

Muhammad shrugged. "Honestly at first I almost believed him myself, he is incredibly intelligent. But once the veil was lifted, it became obvious hes lost in a fantasy world of his own making. If you do find some truth in those files Ms. Wong, by all means, publish them. I quite enjoy your articles. I just wanted to give you fair warning of who 'Dr. Verner' really is."

Emily stood and walked the major to the door. "Thank you sir, I almost made the worst mistake of my career. Publishing a story based off facts from a loon like that... It might have destroyed my career."

The major smiled and shook her hand. "Thank you Ms. Wong. Would you care to join me for lunch? I would prefer to discuss something more reputable then Mr. Verner, and I have to say I would love to hear more of your investigative technique."

Emily smiled and nodded. "That sounds lovely. Why don't we try Enrico's, I hear they have excellent ramen."


	4. Chapter 4

**The Real World**

"You're right, I just got so caught up in all of it, I just wanted to help."

That was to much for Lisa, and she started sobbing again. She had started playing Mass Effect on a whim, just something to pass the now long and lonely hours she had at home. When she had discovered Conrad had actually BEEN IN the games though, she had desperately played through the game seeking more contact with her husband's avatare. She had visited the citadel after every mission, hoping her husband would be there and all to often disappointed He sounded exactly like he did in real life, even looked exactly like him, and Lisa was developing a bond with the in game Conrad.

She had been choosing the paragon options, something she was naturally inclined towards. While she was certainly no saint, Lisa was fairly kindhearted and didn't go out of her way to be actively malicious. Now she was rewarded with Conrad as she remembered him, well meaning and enthusiastic, but bumbling and awkward in actuality.

"I'll go home. Thanks for setting me straight."

Lisa had to turn the game off. It was too much.

"Please come home Conrad. Please." She whispered as her X-Box powered down.

**The Mass Effect Galaxy**

"THIS is what having a gun in your face feels like Conrad! And it happen to me every day! YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT!" Shepard roared.

As Conrad peed his pants and trembled, he took a moment to reflect on just how utterly wrong his latest attempt to change the galaxy had gone.

The day had started well enough. Conrad had been collaborating with Gavin Hossle, an engineer with ExoGeni Corp, on new possible applications for Conrad's dark energy theorem that was taking the scientific world by storm. They had come up with plans for a material that would render it invisible to the naked eye as well as most scanners, which they were terming "Project Infiltrator." ExoGeni was very interested in the project, and was giving the two quite a bit of funding. So far they were still in the planning stages, but the results so far were hopeful.

Conrad had met Gavin when he posted on a Shepard fan board, thanking the Commander for saving some of his research from geth. Conrad had posted about how the Commander had influenced his own research and even inspired and aided in the design of several of Conrad's projects. They had begun communicating in a professional capacity after that, and Conrad was pleased to find someone who actually understood how he had made the mini-steathl field for the model Normandy. That had gotten the two scientists talking about how they could create a steal field for an individual instead of just a drone, and with Gavin's contacts in ExoGeni they had embarked on a ambitious project.

When Conrad had heard that Shepard was coming to the citadel by way of a news cast, he put his project into overdrive. He even developed a working model that while bulky and cumbersome, really did allow him to hide himself. Well, as long as he stayed still and didn't move anyway, but he was sure Shepard could think of some applications for it. Conrad even thought that it might merit a special reward from the Commander, they were best buds and all, and perhaps becoming a specter in his own right or even joining the Normandy's crew!

Conrad had found Shepard in the wards as the commander made his way out of Flux. It had taken a few hours of searching, but he had gotten a social media update from his friend Jen the waitress about how excited she was to be serving Commander Shepard and his crew drinks. Conrad immediately hurried over, and was ecstatic to catch the Commander.

"Commander Shepard! It's me, Conrad Verner!" He called, waving as he made his way through the crowd.

Shepard looked around as if slightly dazed, but when he found Conrad he gave him a slightly lopsided smile.

"Hey Conrad. You here to buy me that drink?" He slurred.

"You don't need another drink." A female soldier told Shepard sternly.

"Shepard, you've put away more alcohol then Dr. Chakwas has informed me is strictly safe for consumption for humans." An asari who was helping keep Shepard upright informed him.

"Listen to Liara Commander." The woman growled, then turned to Conrad. "Hey, if you're one of the Commander's drinking buddies, now is not the best time. We just got back from a mission on Virmire, and well, the Commander isn't taking it too well."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Conrad answered, oblivious to the clear warning to leave off, "But I have great news for you!"

"Oh, let's here it." Shepard slurred, pushing the asari away and standing up straight.

"Well, I've come up with some equipment that I think could help you in your fight against Saren, and I think I can even help field test it!" Conrad burbled.

"Oh?" This time it was the human female, sounding somewhat interested.

" I was also thinking I could help you out in the field!" Now Conrad was off on a tangent, oblivious to the dangerous look that had entered Shepard's eyes. "There's just too much work in the galaxy for one human specter, I was thinking that you could maybe talk to the council and-"

That was when Shepard let out a bellow of pain and rage and pinned Conrad to the wall, shoving a pistol in his face.

"THIS is what having a gun in your face feels like Conrad! And it happen to me every day! YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT!"

The asari and human hauled Shepard off of Conrad as he collapsed to the ground, sobbing.

"I thought you were a hero! That isn't what heroes do!" Conrad bawled.

"I apologize. We just lost one of our team members, Lieutenant Alenko. Shepard has taken the loss hard." The asari explained as they helped Shepard away. "Goddess watch over you Mr. Verner."

Conrad sat there for a few minutes still shaking. Finally, he made himself get back up and stumble back to his apartment. Once he had changed and showered, Conrad got around to rationalizing what had happened to him. A quick extra-net search did indeed show that one Lt. Kaiden Alenko was listed as KIA as of Shepard's latest mission. Obviously, Shepard was just feeling a great deal of stress and anxiety over losing a squad member, so Conrad made himself believe that it was his anguish over Kaiden that had caused the outburst.

It was only mildly comforting, and Conrad couldn't help but have a nagging feeling in the back of his head that maybe this had all played out before, and that somehow he had made things worse. That he had had an opportunity to be kind to Shepard and help, but had instead blown it. It wasn't a very pleasant feeling, and Conrad was up half the night tossing and turning, trying to think of what he could possibly do differently.

When he woke up, Conrad tried to get some work done, but he couldn't get Shepard's treatment of him out of his mind. Shepard was practically Conrad's god, and being abused by someone you worship is rather damaging. Not knowing how to deal with it and unable to totally rationalize it, Conrad thought about what the Commander had said.

"This is what having a gun in your face feels like! You can't handle it!"

"Shepard's right, I couldn't handle having a gun in my face. " Conrad admitted aloud, thinking back to the shame of pissing himself in front of his idol.

Suddenly, a light bulb went on. "I can't handle it now, but I bet with training, I could!"

Conrad immediately hurried down to the nearest Alliance recruitment office.

"Good morning sir. Interested in serving humanity?" The middle aged female noncom behind the desk asked with a tired smile.

"You bet I am! I want to be just like Commander Shepard! When someone sticks a gun in my face, I want to be able to handle it!"

This was not the strangest answer Master Chief Iyer had ever heard, but it did rank in the top ten.

"You're inspired to join by the first human specter?" She asked carefully. That wasn't an unusual answer, Shepard's entrance into the specters had sparked quite the recruitment rush, but it had died down in recent months.

"Oh yes, absolutely! Shepard told me to join the Alliance himself!' Conrad declared, already editing what had happened in his mind to a more suitable version of events.

Chief Iyer figured this was just a way of saying that this man had seen one of the many Commander Shepard recruitment vids that the Alliance had produced. "Alright, let me get some of your information."

After scanning Conrad's personal ID, a screen with his dossier popped up on Chief Iyer's screen.

"Verner, Conrad. Doctor of xenoscience." She read silently. That was a good start, someone with that much education would be valuable to the Alliance indeed.

"Warning. This individual has been declared unfit for duty due to being psychologically unsound. If attempting to gain access to the Alliance or an Alliance facility, immediately call security and remove him from the premisis."

That was where Chief Iyer stopped reading. Right before the part that said, "Not considered dangerous, only unstable."

"Dr. Verner, I am going to have to ask you to leave." Iyer said, standing and coming around the desk.

"I don't understand, I want to join up, this is the right place isn't it?" Conrad asked.

"Dr. Verner, you need to leave now, or I will be required to use all necessary force to remove you from the premises. This is an Alliance outpost, and you are blacklisted."

"What? What are you talking about, I'm friends with Commander Shepard and-"

Conrad never saw the submission move coming, and the next thing he knew he was face down on the floor with Chief Iyer's knee in his back as she cuffed his hands and called for C-Sec. He was hustled off to the drunk tank, still confused and babbling about how he was a personal friend of Commander Shepard.

Luckily for Conrad, the C-Sec sergeant in charge of locking him up was smart and kind enough to both realize he wasn't dangerous and put him with gentle cell mates. He spent the night with a drunk hannar who babbled about the Enkindlers and a volus that had had a little too much red sand and kept levitating a washer he had found and boasting about his biotic powers. It was still a frightening and confusing night for Conrad, who still could not figure out why he had been imprisoned.

"I just keep screwing up!" He sobbed to himself, "Why can't I ever do anything right? Where are you Lisa?"

That last one surprised Conrad. He had nearly forgotten about his wife entirely. Unfortunately, those memories just brought more pain, and added to the sense of being lost and the pervasive loneliness. The babbling of the hanar and antics of the volus didn't help. They were both so alien that they frightened Conrad even further.

"Behold!" Cried the volus, "I am a powerful biotic!" He tried to levitate Conrad, but only managed a few centimeters before he dropped the poor man.

"I want to go home." Conrad whined, rubbing his bruised backside.

"Pray to the Enkindlers and they will guide you!" The hanar happily stated.

"But I don't even know where home is anymore." Conrad whispered.

The next day, Conrad was let out with a warning not to go near Alliance property or harass Alliance personal again.

"Just keep your nose clean and this won't happen again." A tired salarian informed him. "You seem like a decent man human, stay out of trouble and we won't have any problems."

"I don't even know what I did wrong!" Conrad tried to tell the officer, but the salarian had already moved on to his next case and was ignoring Conrad.

Tired and lonlier then ever, Conrad made his way to the presidium, not ready to go home to be by himself. He wandered for a while, eventually making his way to the Consort chambers.

"Welcome, I am Nelyna. I don't think you are on our list of appointments today. Would you like me to see when the Consort would be able to see you?"

"Yeah, I just need someone to talk to." Conrad answered, rubbing the back of his head. "When can this Consort see me? Is she like a counselor or something?"

Contrary to popular belief, Sha'ira was more than just a highly paid whore. To some admittedly, that was what she was, but for many she was a confidant, a person they could talk to and unload their troubles without worry of judgment or of a breach of faith. Nelyna wanted to be like the Consort, perhaps even one day to become a Consort in her own right. In Conrad, she saw someone who despretly needed the Consort's services, and decided to take him under her own wing.

"Well, the Consort herself can't see you for several months, but I could take you myself. How does that sound?" Nelyna asked.

"That sounds great. What do we do?" Conrad asked.

Nelyna giggled and took Conrad's hand. "Come with me. Stephanie, will you greet the guests while I am with the client?"

"Sure thing Nelyna!" A human woman agreed, stepping up to take Nelyna's place while she led Conrad to a private chamber.

Once the door was shut, Nelyna sat down and lad a hand on Conrad's shoulder. "Now, why don't you tell me what's bothering you."

A tear leaked from Conrad's eyes. Finally, someone wanted to listen.

_Authors Note:_

_Conrad Verner: The Comedy of Errors. Or was it Tragedy. I forget._


	5. Chapter 5

**The Real World**

_"Conrad, what are you doing here." Shepard sighed. _

_"I just wanted to be here, with you. But I miss my wife, I want to go home now but I can't."_

Lisa started awake, and grabbed her dream journal and started writing. She had been having more than a few strange dreams about Conrad lately. Not just that he was in the games she had been playing as a character, but that he was IN the games. She had weird visions of Conrad on the Citadel with characters from the game. Not just Shepard, but asari, turians and even some aliens she flat didn't recognize. Her grief counselor had encouraged her to write down her dreams to see if a pattern was emerging.

As far as Lisa could tell, no real pattern was emerging, but she could tell that the dreams seemed eerily like real life. They were just flashes, but as far as she could tell they were flashes from events that didn't actually happen in the Mass Effect games. She could weave something like a narrative from the flashes, but the story they told was one of her husband descending further into madness and despair so far. And while that did seem to mirror her own moods, Lisa couldn't escape the feeling that she was seeing what Conrad was experiencing inside her X Box.

**The Mass Effect Universe**

"So what you are telling me Conrad, is that you are from another realm entirely? That you somehow were transported to our galaxy by forces unknown from a place where everything we see is just a simulation, and you left behind your wife but are slowly losing your memories?"

"Yes!" Conrad exclaimed, "Yes that's exactly what's going on!"

Nelyna frowned. Conrad did not seem mad to her. In the conversations they had had, he had been articulate, descriptive and consistent. He talked of reapers, but Nelyna was more open to strange theories then most and she had contacts on Eden Prime who had confirmed that the dreadnaught there had been unlike anything they had ever seen.

However, Conrad's claims were utterly ridiculous and beyond even what the esoteric followers of Sha'ira were willing to believe. However, as an asari Nelyna had a recourse that no other species did for confirming Conrad's story; She could meld with him. It was not an unattractive proposal to Nelyna, she found Conrad fascinating and attractive, as most asari found humans. The only problem was that if Conrad was mad, the meld could be dangerous. However, as a acolyte of the consort, Nelyna felt it was her duty to aid Conrad in any way she could.

"Conrad, would you consent to meld with me?" Nelyna inquired.

"If it will make you believe me, I'll do anything." Conrad agreed.

"Then let us begin. Close your eyes Conrad. Become one with the universe." Nelyna whispered, slowly closing Conrad's eyes with her fingertips. She got out a lighter and lit her incense burners.

"Lay down, it will make it easier." Nelyna ordered.

Conrad did as he was told, wondering what exactly was about to happen. He was so exhausted, he was ready to do anything to get someone to believe him. So when he felt Nelyna pull of his pants and underwear, he removed his shirt for her. The feeling of her bare skin on his own was wonderful and he could feel his body responding.

"Now Conrad, Embrace Eternity with me." Nelyna's soft voice said in his ear.

The next few hours were some of the most wonderful Conrad had ever experienced. It wasn't even the sex, though after going for several months without, that was pretty good too. It was the sharing of sensations. Suddenly, Conrad KNEW Nelyna, in a way he never could have with another human. He knew her every thought, every desire, every passion, every inch of her being. He saw her as a child on Thessia, growing into an adult and desireing to help and comfort others. He saw her seeking out the Consort, and joining her entourage on the citadel. Over the course of those hours, Conrad came to know Nelyna as he had known no one else.

And in return, Nelyna knew Conrad. She saw his world through his eyes, saw his pain, his grief, even his wife. She saw the truth of what Conrad knew, saw everything from the other world including her own world as a game. It was one of the most disconcerting melds Nelyna had ever taken part in, and it was both terrifying and glorious to know that her existence was not the only one.

Once the meld was complete, they lay embracing one another.

"Now do you believe me?" Conrad whispered, hugging Nelyna tight.

"I do. But the future I saw... It's terrifying Conrad." Nelyna whispered, putting her hand on Conrad's chest.

"But what can we do? How can we change anything, no one will believe me." Conrad pleaded, looking Nelyna in the eye.

Biting her lip, Nelyna tried to think of what she could say or do. Sha'ira was respected, but Nelyna was one of her newest acolytes. The Consort was also now under a great deal of political pressure do to rumors being spread by a spurned turian lover. She couldn't place Sha'ira at any more risk, and she was hardly credible at all. More than ever, people were considering the Consort and her acolytes to be nothing but whores. Her voice backing up Conrad wouldn't help much at all.

"Whatever we can do Conrad, but I swear this to you, we will do it together." Nelyna promised.

That contented Conrad, it had been all he really wanted anyway. "Alright then." He agreed, and laid back and fell into a contented sleep.

Nelyna lay there with Conrad, trying to decide what to do. She was disowned by her family, they considered Sha'ira to be a charlatan. From seeing Conrad's memories, she knew that even when he had gone to the press, someone had suppressed things. There was only one thing to do them. Get word to people themselves.

While Conrad slept, Nelyna went to Sha'ira and turned in her resignation.

"I hate to lose you my daughter, but we must go where the One wills it." Sha'ira said after Nelyna informed her why she was leaving, "I will pray that you find happiness wherever Fate takes you."

"As the One wills." Nelyna murmured, bowing her head.

When Conrad awoke, Nelyna was waiting for him on the bedside.

"Rise and get dressed, we have work to do." Nelyna informed him.

"Ok, what are we doing?" Conrad asked as he pulled on his pants.

"Why, rallying the peoples of the galaxy to fight the Reapers of course!" Nelyna told him, "Isn't that what you want?"

Conrad had to stop and think about that, then he gave Nelyna a sheepish grin. "Yeah, I guess, but I am forgetting more and more about the reapers with everyday. It's like being in this universe is destroying my memories."

"Really? They seemed strange to me, but I thought that was just because they were from another world."

"It's so crazy!" Conrad stood, pacing and running his hands through his hair. "It's like every day I am here, I gain memories of a life that I had before and lose the memories of my real home. But I know I didn't grow up here! I remember growing up when computers were still giant boxes with black screens and green text, and aliens were just on cartoon shows!"

"It doesn't matter Conrad. I'm here now. Together, we can find a way to stop the reapers." Nelyna assured him.

Conrad smiled and stopped pacing. "Yeah, thanks. What do you think we can do?"

"First, lets go back to your apparetment. Show me everything, all your notes, all your research."

"Yeah, that's a great idea!" Conrad agreed, "I'm still working on how the reapers drive actually operates but I have a theory and lots of data to support it."

Nelyna giggled and covered her mouth. "Conrad, I may your memories, but that doesn't mean I understand how to calculate dark matter reactions or understand alien sciences. That's not how the melding works."

"Oh, well then I guess I better just show you and explain it."

They left the Consort chambers and hailed a taxi, riding back to Conrad's in relative silence. Conrad was a bit embarrassed when he showed Nelyna inside, as he had become more and more distracted and messy as the days went by. The asari ignored the disaster zone, and went straight to Conrad's study.

"Show me." She asked.

And so Conrad showed her. All the evidence he had gathered. The reports from Commander Shepard he had scavenged. Several of his papers on dark energy. His stories from his past life. It took several hours, and Nelyna never expressed doubt once. She knew Conrad, and while she knew he could be strange, she also knew he was not lying.

They worked together, far into the night. By morning, they were exhausted, but Nelyna was convinced. They had to do something to stop the reapers. And together, she knew they could.

**The Destiny Ascension**

Inna'Tupor stifled a yawn. Guard duty wasn't the most interesting of duties, but at least it was fairly safe.

An alarm started flashing on her display, and Inna leaned forward to check it. "Oh Goddess, it's the geth!" She cried, as a fleet suddenly appeared around the Serpent Nebula Mass Relay.

She stabbed the alert button, and the Destiny Ascension and the citadel fleet went to general quarters.

"Why didn't we have any warning of this?" The captain demanded, "We should have had some warning!"

Inna just did her job, and prayed she would survive the next few minutes.


	6. Chapter 6

**Lisa**

The grief counseling was helping. That was the best Lisa could say about it. Helping her to numb the pain, but not make it go away. Not to stop the voices that asked if Conrad had left because she wasn't pretty enough, wasn't doing enough for him, wasn't interested in what he did. Wasn't smart enough to see what was happening.

Whatever had happened, anyway.

Lisa was spending a lot more time on Mass Effect, playing through the second game now. She was meticulous about it, if not skillful, turning over ever rock and talking to every person multiple times. Conrad showed up again, and accused her of sticking a gun in his face. No matter how she tried to explain things to him, she couldn't shake the feeling. The feeling that she was the reason he had left.

Once more, she talked to Conrad on the Citadel, trying to think of why he left her. Or why he had not returned.

**Conrad**

"Come on, we have to move!" Conrad pleaded with Nelyna. "The geth invade the presidium, they slaughter everyone!"

The sirens had started only moments ago, but it hadn't taken the two of them long to figure out just what exactly was happening.

"That's why we have to stay," Nelyna patiently explained, handing Conrad one of her small holdout pistols. "We can help save these people."

"Well, OK. But only until Shepard shows up. I don't know anything about fighting in a warzone."

"Until Shepard shows up," Nelyna agreed.

The first step was getting the consort and her acolytes to safety. It wasn't that far to the Presidum, but with all the panicked civilians it took much longer then it should have. Conrad wasn't quite sure what they were going to be doing until Nelyna led him to the Consort chambers.

"Mistress, please, everyone must go. The geth are invading!" Nelyna shouted, running toward Sha'ira, who was calmly standing outside of her chambers with a rifle in her arms.

"There is no time, my daughter. I have herded as many refugees as I could inside. My contacts in the fleet tell me boarders will arrive at any moment. Flee if you must, but I stand here."

Conrad looked inside, spying dozens of men, women and children from every race imaginable. He swallowed, then put an arm around Nelyna. "We'll stand with you, Sha'ira. Maybe we can make a difference."

The look of pure adoration Nelyna almost made up for the feeling of despair that came over Conrad. What was wrong with him! He wasn't a hero, just a man. A foolish, foolish man, who had just been laid for the first time in months, and really, really wanted to impress this girl.

Conrad hunkered down behind an upturned table, and waited for the inevitable. He didn't have to wait long. With a blinding flash, the Relay Monument transposed a legion of geth, which quickly advanced through the presidum, spraying death as they went. Conrad did his best to shoot back with his tiny hold out pistol, blowing on it to cool it off every three miserable shots. It didn't seem to be doing much at all, but Nelyna and Sha'ira were different stories. They were two asari with powerful biotics, and they obviously knew how to use them. Together they detonated biotic explosions and sent blue spheres of death into the geth ranks, forcing them back.

Conrad picked off a geth by himself finally, and cheered in excitement. He was actually doing it, he was a hero! He continued to fire and duck behind the table, feeling rather invincible. One of the consorts other acolytes had put up a rather impressive barrier, and while Conrad could shoot through it, the geth's own fire was stopped from penetrating. They geth were not even trying all that hard to kill everyone, mostly content to just fire an occasional burst and keep them pinned in Sha'ira's chambers.

"Well, this isn't so bad!" Conrad called to Nelyna, firing at another geth.

"See Conrad? You can do it! We can stop this!"

Just as Nelyna finished speaking, a rocket from the geth dropped the barrier, and she took a round to the held.

"No!" Conrad screamed, rushing over and craddling Nelyna in his arms. Reaching into his pouch, he treated her gushing wound with medigel, stopping the bleeding and sealing the wound.

"Urgh..." Nelyna moaned, slowly stiring.

Conrad breathed a sigh of relief, it had just been a grazing shot. Scalp wounds always bleed profusely he remembered, and he carefully set the unconscious asari down. Glancing over the table, he saw more geth were advancing. Sha'ira was still up, but the situation was bad.

"What are we going to do?" he asked, holding both of Nelyna's pistols in his hand as the geth advanced.

Sha'ira hefted her rifle and smiled grimly at Conrad. "What we can."

Firing the two pistols consecutively to reduce the down time between shots, Conrad desperately tried to hold off the geth, but without Nelyna's biotics, he and Sha'ira just couldn't hold them off. Just as things were looking hopeless, the geth looked up as an air car careened toward them, crashing into a juggernaut and taking out half a dozen troopers as it skidded across the ground.

"Badassfully: Take that, flashlight breath."

"Save the chatter, Xeltan. We need to get under cover."

"Badassfully: Cover is for people who are smaller than me. You go, I will hold them off."

Conrad watched in astonishment as an elcor with a literal tank gun strapped to its back climbed out of the car and slowly advanced toward the geth, launching huge mass accelerator slugs into an armature and destroying it.

"Sha'ira!" An elderly turian called, hobbling over to the consort and embracing her.

"Septiums, what are you doing here!" Sha'ira gasped. "I thought you would never want to see me again."

"Old soldiers never forget their duty," Septumus answered gruffly. "Even if you don't love me, I still need to save you. Besides, if you were ever going to change your mind, a daring rescue would be just the ticket!"

Sha'ira laughed and smiled. "Well, perhaps I am not going to swoon into your arms just because you arrived, but I am grateful."

"Badassfully: Get some. Get some. Get some."

Conrad looked over the burning vehicle at the still advancing elcor. "Um, you two think maybe we should help him?"

Septimus shrugged. "Xeltan insisted on coming, but I don't think it's a good idea to go after him. Elcor may be slow to anger, but once they start, it's a bad idea to get in their way. Anything that's powerful enough to take out his barriers would reduce us to paste out in the open anyway."

After a few minutes of steady firing, Xeltan stopped. There were no more geth in the vicinity apparently, and the elcor trundled back over.

"Badassfully: I believe I doused the flashlights. Respectfully: Consort, I hope that today I have repaid my dept to you."

Reaching up, Sha'ira caressed the elcor's face. "There was never a debt to forgive. Thank you, both of you, for saving us."

Turning away from the Consort, Conrad knelt down and cradled Nelyna in his arms. "Hey, you OK?"

"Uhhhh. I think so, my head hurts, but it's not so bad. I saw you Conrad, you were so brave. I think you can do this. We can do this. Saving the galaxy, stopping those Reaper things. Together."

Conrad took Nelyna's hand and squeezed. "Yeah. Together. We can do it together."

_Authors Note:_

_I bet you all thought I was going to kill off Nelyna in this chapter. Heh heh. Not yet my pretties, not yet._

_Also, can elcor PLEASE be a playable race in ME3 multiplayer? Please?_


End file.
